Motives and Fear

I’ve been toying with the idea of a blog for years now. I started one a few years ago because I felt like it was where God was leading me. A couple of posts later I had moved on. But the Lord did not and he has put this itch inside of me to write since then. Three years ago, I wrote this post, and shortly after that I stopped. Yes, life happens, but I was so sure this was what I was supposed to do. Why was it so hard? I have not typically been one to shy away from taking a bold stand, or going against the grain. Again, why is this so hard to walk out? For one, having the right motives. And another, fear.

The Right Motives

“Give ear, O heavens, let me speak; And let the earth hear the words of my mouth. Let my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, as the droplets on the fresh grass and as the showers on the herb. For I proclaim the name of the Lord; ascribe greatness to our God! The Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.”

Well that hit me like a ton of bricks. I may not understand why, but I am sure it is writing that God has put on my heart. Teaching. Using my words to make a positive impact. When I read this verse, it was like this missing piece. I needed an outlet to “proclaim the name of the Lord,” but other than with my 4 and 1.5-year-old, it wasn’t happening. Sure, I meet one-on-one with a lot of my friends and do my best to speak Truth into them. But it wasn’t enough. So, I have made a few decisions to share my gift of teaching and share the Truth I’m being taught through scripture. To be transparent I am also working on simplifying my {our} life, so this is being fit in around family responsibilities. But isn’t it amazing when I am {we are} willing to take steps in the direction of obedience how the time is there? The opportunities are within reach and sometimes dropped in your lap?

For some reason a blog feels like the way to accomplish this. To be home with my babies, available to my husband whose ministry needs and schedule is ever changing, and to walk out the pull on my heart the Lord has set in motion.

Fear

Unfortunately, I have let fear take over. I am a people-pleaser at heart and I want people to like me! And I know this platform can be an easy place to be criticized. The idea of being out there on the world-wide web is scary. However, I know His work is perfect. Not mine. A God of faithfulness. He is persistent even when I am not. One of my favorite verses for some time now is Joshua 1:9 – “Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Oh yeah, the God of the universe is with me. Be strong and courageous! So here I am again, stepping out in faith. Trusting in His faithfulness, because I fall short every time.

Side note: This verse came to me through the Write the Word journal from Cultivate What Matters. I love mine!

Is there something you need to walk out that the Lord has placed on your heart? Let’s go for it!

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